the journal of five strange kittens

birthday!

Mon, 07 May 2007 08:21:45 GMT

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday dear jimmy
happy birthday to me

yes i expect a cake made out of corpses of mousies and birdies and mikki
but i probably won't get one

- james (7 today)

moulting

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 11:50:13 GMT

It's moult season (humans call it summer)! Of course, I'm losing my fur anyway, old male humans lose the fur on their heads (like Bill) and so do old male cats. James doesn't seem to mind that he leaves a trail of fluff, Mikki's of course concerned about her looks, but she looks as "cute" as ever. But then, it's our natural instinct, it's so hot! James likes moult season because there are more mice about, Mikki likes to sunbathe so that all the tomcats will stare at her (no i dont! xmikkix), but I think she's getting a bit past it now (no im not! speak for urself, mr baldy! xmikkix). But she's alright, really, I like all cats.

Anyway, I'm going to love you and leave you, James wants to sing a bit.

Timothy Jazz Hayes.

sofa mouse
there was a mouse
under the sofa
the kind of mouse
that i would go for
i wanted the mouse
but it just hid
it was a mouse
not a goat kid

ginger minger
now down the road lives this ginger cat
he's big and fluffy and ugly and fat
he's a good for nothing prat
i saw him by the car the other night
as usual he was up for a cat fight
and i was not alright
the ginger minger scratched my fucking paw
i was in pain and bleeding that's for sure
i can't take this any more
you ginger minger
but i'm a much better singer
owned

- james

james says ....

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 11:48:32 GMT

i pulled a bird today
yeh i pulled a bird today
i found it in the garden
and then i had a play

i pulled a bird today
yes i enjoyed my prey
i wanted to eat it all up
but then it flew away

- jimbo the third (that's what this strange man calls me, he's called stew, named after chicken stew i think)

?

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 17:12:45 GMT

does my tail look wonky in this??? (kitten equivalent of "Does my bum look big in this?" - B.J.x)

i think my tail is really wonky

its pissing it down outside!!!

xmikkix

mouse!

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 16:41:41 GMT

i had a mouse today! i haven't had one in a while! yay!

- james

oh no

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 12:04:21 GMT

half my eyebrows have gone missing!!!1

xmikkix

squeak!

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 17:12:11 GMT

Hello! I haven't updated in ages. None of us have. It's been nearly two years, in fact. Wow, I'd only just turned 61 when I last updated, and now I'm 67! I'm getting so old. James and Mikki are both 37 - I wish I was their age again. They're just babies compared to me.

Anyway, we've spent most of our time eating and sleeping. We're cats, we don't do much else.

I'm going to go and sleep on a table now.

Timothy Jazz Hayes.

PS. Mikki has never updated this journal. I'll have to pester her to do so.

PPS. I worked out our ages here.

dan hunt?

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 16:55:51 GMT

hi! it's james. this is for bikki. she's talking about hunting for a dan - what's a dan? i bet it's not as good as a mouse. she says it's in the darkness. ha ha, silly humans, they can't see in the darkness! as i was saying, i could help her find a dan if she'd just tell me what it looks like. it might look a bit like a mouse if it's worth hunting for. and i got a nice new cat bed, i love it! but not as much as mice.

- james

ps. mikki is an annoying little shit.

james!

Fri, 31 Oct 2003 11:56:27 GMT

my name is james
and i eat mice
my name is james
and i eat mice
my name is james
and i eat mice
mmm mice mmm mice are nice

- james

hello!

Thu, 30 Oct 2003 15:37:46 GMT

We're some kittens! This is Jazz typing, James is too dim to type (don't worry, I'll teach him) and Mikki's slutting about somewhere. This morning's been kind of usual. Becki (bikz)'s mum put out some of my special adult cat Whiskas Singles (with Lifecare cuz I'm all old), James ate it. He can be a selfish little bastard. He also eats loads and he's still really skinny, but someday he'll get fat like me. I'll probably be 47 feet under by the time that happens, but meh.

Mikki's also up to the usual stuff - getting more cuddles and attention than James or I ever will. Why is she so damn cute? Oh well, I sat on Becki this morning and she gave me cuddles, which is nice because usually she'd push me off because she is allergic to cats, especially me. And I got fed chicken last night. Mmm, chicken. The thing is, Mikki got more just because she grabs it off the table in a cute way.

Anyway, I gotta go and sleep now. Bye!

Timothy Jazz Hayes.